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Lord Bendtner is, in all due respect, one of the greatest footballers of all time, a former Arsene and Wolvesburger player, the absolute madman has gone on to Rosenborg where he's sure to snatch yet another UOAFA Not Many Are Really Champions League as this absolute madman does naturally.

Humble Beginnings

Lord Bendtner's birth is the stuff of speculation to many a folk, some say he was born on the tallest mountain in Denmark, some say he was brought down to earth by some random referee, but anyway, on that faithful night in 1988, a star was born.

He was snatched up by Rosenborg as a young talent (Can't blame them, he was running loops around the opposition) where he scored 100 goals in like 4 games before Arsene snatched him up for a undisclosed world record fee.


When he first started, he was truly smashing up the Arsenal Reserves, rekindling his former magic to score 500 goals in 5 games, Arsene finally called him up for a League Cup match against Sunderland, coming on as a sub and, as usual, scoring 47 goals.

For some odd reason Arsene couldn't handle his goalscoring excellence so they loaned him out to Steamedhams City where he didn't fail to impress, scoring 760 goals in 42 matches.

When Bendtner finally came back to Arsene (much to the excitement of fans) he found himself in quite a moist pickle predicament, Arsey Wenger didn't feel like starting him! Bendtner had potential jobs lined up for him, ranging from ACDC Milan to Olympics Lion interested in snatching up such a worldbeating talent, but Bendtner stayed, eventually cracking into Wenger's plans, scoring 3800 goals in 4 seasons like nobody's business, in 2009 though, Lord Bendtner was driving his Gaston Villa when a goon (who ramblings suggest was hired by Carlo Antelotti) swerved him off the road and make him get into a car crash, as usual for the Lord, he was perfectly unscathed.

Another two loans helped prove Lord Bendtner to live up to his self-proclaimed hype, whether banging them in on a rainy night in Sunlessland or in the sunny resort owned by the old Lady, no matter the land, he was banging in goals and taking tolls, but after 2014, he was released by Arsene due to the swagger getting to Arsey Wenger's head.

Life after Arsene

Life after Arsene wasn't as smooth sailing as you think, despite being arguably the world's best player, he was never even considered for a Ballen Door due to Arsey Wenger rigging the polls every year, as per usual though, Lord Bendtner scored loads and loads of goals, but always seemed to tick off the wrong guy and get released, in Not my Ham Forest his contract expired because Lord Bendtner decided that Not my Ham Forest was Not his Club, and thus he went back to Rosenborg, where's he scored 5000 goals in just under a year, still waiting for that Ballen Door call.